Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
