you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Randomize
