no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Randomize
