Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
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