I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
Come see our sink grown plant.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
