Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
I looked at my own cervix.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
Even my vagina gasped.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Randomize
