she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
Randomize
