i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
Randomize
