fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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