He is an equal opportunity slut.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Randomize
