thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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