am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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