Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
Randomize
