I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
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