sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
