Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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