You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
My nipple is on Facebook.
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Randomize
