he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
