it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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