Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Randomize
