Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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