How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
