im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Randomize
