youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
