I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Randomize
