I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
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