38 yer olds are good kisserssss
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize