Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Randomize
