So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
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