I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Randomize
