i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
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