In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
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