So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
Randomize
