Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Randomize