Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
Randomize
