my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
