How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Randomize
