This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
