The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
