I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Randomize
