he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
Randomize
