Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Randomize
