cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
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