saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
