We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
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