You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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