Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize
