she was so not down for the gang bang
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
