Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
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