well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
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