I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
Randomize
