What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
Randomize
