how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
