Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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